While it’s uncommon to hear “speak now or forever hold your peace” these days, that phrase once served an important purpose in medieval marriage.
You planned for months participating in wedding traditions and planning for your dream wedding. This is the song you should listen to as you walk down the aisle, looking forward to tying the knot. Arranging your flowers. The guests who will attend.
The only thing you can’t plan is when someone will object during the wedding ceremony after the officiant says, “Speak now or forever hold your peace. This is a big wedding etiquette rule to follow; you should never interrupt the ceremony with objections.
Phew. That being said, is “speak now or forever hold your peace” still a real thing? Here are some tips to help you plan for all wedding receptions with family members and friends. We looked at some wedding officiants to see which of them were truly the best.
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Why do they say “speak now or forever hold your peace” at weddings?
It’s rare for wedding officiants to tell a bride and groom that it’s time for them to speak now or forever hold their peace. The Bible is very clear about what happens when the bride is not ready. There is no question that the marriage was legitimate.
But where did this expression come from? According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the phrase is a Christian marriage ceremony. Communication was extremely limited during the medieval times. You couldn’t text someone or DM them on social media, after all.
So that people wouldn’t get married more than once, or would they find out if the first marriage was valid, the following three Sundays were announced as marriage dates for one Sunday each month. That way, people could spread the word and object to a pending marriage if they knew someone was already wed.
The marriage process itself is a very emotional event for any couple, so it would be best for anyone planning to get married to have an understanding family member who will fill in for them. A tradition that is going strong: the something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
What happens if someone objects at a wedding?
We all have heard many stories from our childhood, where people are ready to stop a marriage. They do not wish for the couple to get married, but why?
Here I am sharing with you a story of how two people met each other and how that person objected to the marriage. Here are the details. A boy used to go for a morning walk at a local lake. He was always interested in the beauty around him, so he decided to watch the entire lake to find some new and beautiful places.
He went on for 2 years, but his attention never changed. There was no one around him and the place was deserted, so he thought of a new place and started watching the nearby lake.
As he moved towards the side of the lake, he suddenly came across a girl, who was sitting on a tree swing. She was looking very beautiful and her hair was blowing in the wind. He wanted to have a talk with that girl and as he wanted to have a conversation with the girl, he asked her for a glass of water.
She took a glass of water and sat near him. They both had a conversation about the lake and the beautiful scenery of the area. She told him that she comes here daily to enjoy nature. After 2 hours, she left her place and asked the boy to come with her. They reached to a house, where a wedding ceremony was happening. The couple was getting married and everyone was busy attending the ceremony.
As the bride and groom arrived in the church, the boy stopped the wedding and said “I don’t wish for this marriage. I want you to leave this place and take a walk back to the lake. I will come there tomorrow, you can return the next day and so on.” The bride and groom left the church after their wedding ceremony and returned back to the lake. They stayed in a cottage, which was at a distance of 50 km.
After 1 week, the girl again went to the lake to see the surroundings. She started talking to the boy, but he didn’t listen to anything. She asked him “do you have any idea what happened to me? You left me all alone and then I heard some noises near the cottage. I saw someone taking my bags and then, you were gone.” She also told him that she was pregnant. He just smiled and left her to think what to do. After 2 months, she gave birth to a baby girl.
This story is true. I have heard this from a family member and they also mentioned that the man was also from the same village and was related to the girl.
Can the wedding go on if someone objects?
If the groom and bride are getting married and the couple belongs to a Hindu religion, then I can bet that you don’t know what is Raksha Bandhan. Raksha Bandhan is an occasion for brothers and sisters to show each other their love and friendship. On this occasion, brothers and sisters exchange gifts, sweets and some good wishes. The most interesting part of this day is that the gifts given by the brothers and sisters are made for them by their parents.
Raksha Bandhan is celebrated in almost all Indian families. So, brothers and sisters greet each other with blessings and pray for their well-being and happiness. Many Indians believe that the gifts received on this day brings good luck and prosperity.
Now, if the wedding ceremony has taken place and the marriage is over, then the couple has no obligation towards their relatives and friends. They don’t have to spend money on the gifts and their relatives can’t come for blessings. In short, it is the end of a new chapter of their lives and they can live their lives freely.
But it can happen that someone will object to this situation. Some may feel that the gifts aren’t required and the money spent on the gifts can be used for something else. Or they may think that their presence is unwanted. So, there is a possibility that the wedding can go on if someone objects.
I have seen some couples who get married and decide to continue their life after the wedding. But it is better to get everything in place before getting into the final step of marriage.
In conclusion, the best thing to do when someone says “speak now or forever hold your peace” is to answer back with “I’m not holding my peace. I’m speaking now!” This will give them the impression that you’re an independent thinker who isn’t afraid to speak your mind. You can then go on to say what you want.